How to Introduce Sex Toys into a Relationship

If you have a favourite sex toy, you might be thinking, “How can this be part of my sex life with my partner”? When is it the right time to introduce sex toys into your relationship? Internal stimulation is great, but for most women, external stimulation is necessary to orgasm, and there are more ways than one to do this during sex.

Whether you’ve been with your partner for a few months or years, you might be uncertain about how to approach the topic. 

This blog aims to make this transition more comfortable for both parties. After all, couples who talk about sex and sex lives outside of the bedroom have a more fulfilling sex life!

Introducing Sex Toys: Where To Begin?

Sex toys heighten sexuality, boost your sex drive and make things a lot more exciting, but how do you even begin having this conversation?

Communication is always key

To some people, bringing sex toys into the bedroom can cause insecurities and make a partner not feel good enough, but this is not true. Things might feel a little bit awkward at first, but good communication is key in any relationship. 

Be clear on why you want to use them. Is it something you just want to use during foreplay? Talk about why a sex toy turns you on, how you’d like your partner to be involved, and approach the topic with empathy. The conversation should be about both of you and your needs. 

Reassure your partner. A sex toy can only mimic sensations, not replace them, so you want your partner to know that a toy won’t replace human connection or intimacy: it adds pleasure.

Tell your partner that it’s something fun you want to try together. And remember, a vibrator is fun for both genitalia!

Choose a toy together

Once you’ve had the initial talk with your partner, it’s time to go shopping. Pick a toy that isn’t too intimidating, non-gender specific, and versatile enough to explore dozens of sensations. For example, exploring external and internal play with a longer shape. You can try something bendy as well to hit different spots; it’s the perfect all-rounder.

Here’s a romantic starter sex kit you could use before getting down and dirty with toys: Bedroom Rendezvous Romantic Night Kit. With foreplay cards, candles and rose petals, it’s a great ice breaker to set the mood.

Not too keen on penetration toys? Start with vibrating panties, which have wireless controls. The Michael Panty Vibrator has a tapered tip for pinpoint stimulation and 10 vibrating modes for spontaneous foreplay throughout the day.

Bondage Fetish Kits help you explore deeper desires with silky restraints, reusable bondage tape, blindfolds, feather ticklers, nipple clamps, and other items to indulge your senses. 

Start exploring

Is it your first time? Plan to try out a sex toy together. It’s recommended to work up to bigger (and more advanced) toys over time. 

Here are some things you can try with a vibrator, for example. Talk to your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t. If you have a vulva, you can:

• Place the tip of a device on your clitoris during oral or penetrative sex

• Insert the narrow end of a vibrator to stimulate your G-spot

• Massage the internal walls of your vagina and stimulate the cervix

If you have a penis, you can:

• Curve a vibrator around the base and run it up the shaft

• Use it on the tip to stimulate the sensitive spot

Toys during penetration, like a Duo Ring With Clit Tickler is a rechargeable, vibrating ring with 10 vibrations and a textured external stimulator that hits all of your spots. The rechargeable bullet vibe can be used separately so it’s essentially a 2-in-1.

Explore different sensations by using the vibrator behind your ears, the inner elbow, nipples, or try anal play by bending the flexible body. Likewise, masturbating together is a sexy way to tease each other (and learn more about each other’s bodies), such as a Robin Mini Stroker for a ribbed texture or an App Controlled Vibrator for some teasing play.

With any toy, always read the instructions and clean toys after you’ve used them to avoid any bacteria building up.

Have Fun!

No matter what, it’s important to have a good time with your partner. Laugh at the toy and with your partner if things don’t always work out the first time. It’s all part of the journey with your partner, and it helps to bring you both closer.

What are some things you can say to your partner when bringing up the idea?

• Talk about the vibrator you use alone and want to try it out with them involved

• Suggest buying them a sex toy and ask if there’s any they’re interested in

• Mention a vibrator, and that it turns you on thinking about them using it on you

• Say that you’ve been looking at restraints/butt plugs online and think they will enjoy it

Be generous with lube, too! Even if internal stimulation isn’t your end game, lube is the first thing to consider. It adds that smooth, slip-and-slide feeling to play. For silicone toys, never use silicone lube as it will damage the toys. Water-based lube should always be your go-to.

What if your partner isn’t too comfortable with the idea of a sex toy?  When you are ready to bring this up in conversation, emphasise that it’s an experience for both of you and is a place to experiment, play, and discover. Although some products double as solo toys, it’s a different experience when a partner uses them with you! Always ensure you’re on the right page about any insecurities, desires, and goals in the bedroom.

If you’d like to learn more about specific toys, check out our Sex Toy Buying Guides. 

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